Dave Rattigan a new contributor to Ex-Gay Watch (Yes!) and has already offered thoughtfully presented posts to an already wonderful blog for all things ex-gay. Dave also recently wrote an article on the Ex-Gay Movement in the UK that appeared in June 2006 edition of the British Evangelical magazine, Third Way.
Rattigan blends his personal narrative with interviews and history of the ex-gay movement in the US and the UK.
“God make me straight,” I used to pray nightly. It’s what every dissatisfied gay Christian wants more than anything. I would wake up the next day and sometimes get as far as lunchtime thinking maybe that was the day I’d wake up healed. But always it would end in disillusionment, the same feelings coming back, and I knew I wasn’t changed inside.
He goes on to write about Exodus, Love in Action (including Zach Stark and incidents surrounding his time in the Refuge program), True Freedom Trust, Courage and LIFE Ministries, an off-shoot of the NY ex-gay program of the same name that I attended in the late 1980’s.
From Out and Cowed? Ex-Gay in the UK
Speaking of Courage, Jeremy Marks, the former ex-gay leader who now affirms fellow queer folks, recently posted a personal narrative on the Courage web site. He wrote the piece after a two year course in Spiritual Direction. In it, he shares much of his background and detailed information about how he shifted in his beliefs and practice.
When it came to celebrating Ten Years of Courage with a special service in London in the summer of 1998, I was privately experiencing ever-growing doubts as to where we were heading for the next ten years. The fallout rate of those we had journeyed with was alarming to say the least.
But it took the near death of one of our former members to finally begin to impact me with a real sense of the delusion we had been in. This man had lived with us on our residential discipleship course for about 18 months before he decided it was time to move on. We were happy for him to do so; we had seen him recover from serious illness and great loss in his life, and we fully expected he would move on from strength to strength. A couple of years later however, we had almost lost touch with him until we heard he made a massive and very serious suicide attempt.
The circumstances in which he was found and rushed to hospital were in themselves truly miraculous. In the months it took him to recover, I visited him as often as I could. Clearly the inner conflict set up in his psyche as a result of denying his homosexual orientation and trying to believe that God was changing him had created total inner devastation.
From My Spiritual Journey