The Great News


cool "flower" at Cambridge Botanical Gardens

Recently I had a chat with a friend of mine about Christianity. She is a pagan and grew up in a non-religious home. She confessed that she didn’t know the first thing about the Christian faith and got it all mixed up with other traditions and beliefs. She asked if I could explain it to her in the simplest terms.

I shared that the basic message is that Jesus appeared on earth (some say as God; others claim as God’s messenger) to preach Good News (God’s bright new world is at hand! That bright new world is inside of you!) Jesus died on the cross, rose again three days later and today many types of Christian commemorate his death through a ceremony where they eat bread (the body of Christ) and drink wine (the blood of Christ.) I told her that Quakers don’t celebrate this ceremony.

This was all news to her. She only had heard drips and drabs before. She reflected for a moment and then declared,

I get it.

Christians are cannibalistic vampires who worship a zombie!

Hmmm, I guess she is technically correct. Who knows a whole new generation might get hooked on the Zombie Christ.


This post has 8 Comments

  1. Stephen on May 1, 2009 at 9:35 am

    It’s a funny old post-Christendom world out there.

  2. KarenSDR on May 1, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Well, there is a movie called “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter”. I enjoyed it a lot, but it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. It had a very catchy song that played during the credits.

  3. Oliver Danni on May 2, 2009 at 2:11 am

    Two beautiful things about Pagans, in general: they tend to REALLY understand the significance of ritual, and they tend to have the broadest senses of humor!

    (Obviously these are sweeping generalities, but I’ve found them to be fairly accurate in my travels!)

    Pagans also have far more reverence for zombies and vampires, in general, than a Christian who was offended by such a remark might be able to fully appreciate. 😉

  4. Jane on May 2, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I was privileged to interpret for Sister Helen Prejean in March. At one point in her lecture she stopped and opined, “What kind of loving God would kill his son?” Now, this is a theology that I’ve taken since returning to the church. I’ve heard it from the writings and words of feminist theologians, but never from an internationally known Christian. I jumped out of my skin. This woman is a Transgressor. I was able to ask her later when the rest of our brothers and sisters would come to understand that the crucifixion wasn’t God’s plan, and she told me to be patient with them — that they would get it eventually.

  5. p2son on May 2, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    Jane wow, this is a very cool story. Thanks for sharing it.

    I adore James Alison teaching on the Atonement. He argues that a sacrifice was not needed (and only turns God into an ancient deity demanding blood for appeasement) and instead humans needed a sacrament to help them put their guilt somewhere. You can read Alison’s essay here.

  6. Jane on May 4, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    The best part of the Sister Helen visit was backstage when she was hanging out with the students. The students told her that they’d seen me interpret hip hop. So, she asked the students to start a hip hop song. They started to make up one and she joined them. Sister Helen Prejean can rhyme. It was fabulous! A moment I shan’t forget!

  7. Jane on May 4, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I downloaded Alison’s paper so that I can read it and mark it and put it in my files. Thank you for sharing it.

  8. Jennifer on May 4, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    RE: Cannibal zombie worshippers:

    “Christianity: Voodoo has never been so much fun!”

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