Meet Corina Newsome — The Self-Described Hood Naturalist

As a podcaster, I get to do two things I really love:

Spend a lot of time alone in my study with headphones on listening to really smart people
Meeting really cool people who give me a lot of hope for the future

With Corina Newsome I got to experience both in abundance. She appears in episode 30 of Citizens Climate Radio — What Does the Bible Say about Climate Change? In addition to interviewing Corina on-line and then spending several delightful hours editing what she shared, I also got to meet up with her a few months later in Charleston, SC. Together we spoke about Faith, Race, Justice, and Climate Change.

Corina Newsome

Recently transitioning from her career as a zookeeper, Corina Newsome is currently a graduate biology student at Georgia Southern University, specializing in avian conservation. Corina earned her B.A. in Zoo and Wildlife Biology from Malone University (OH) in 2015, and since graduating, has founded several programs to encourage ethnic and socioeconomic minority high school students to consider careers in wildlife science.

Corina grew up in downtown Philadelphia and has always had a desire to participate in, and advocate for, the protection of wildlife and natural spaces, and encourage minorities in the U.S. to explore the great outdoors.

Corina maintains a blog Hood Naturalist–From the Hood, to the Zoo, to the Marsh. I have been encouraging university sustainability programs to bring Corina to campus because she helps draw people into discussions about faith, race, nature, and biology in a compelling and deeply thoughtful way.

She is also willing to break into song if it will help communicate science

I encourage you to follow Corina on Twitter

and check out her blog.

Happy 2018 — Remember Who You Are

Susan Govatos Joseph’s Dreams

Today I am working on an essay for a British religious education publication. They asked me to explain my view of Joseph in Genesis as gender non-conforming, and how I suggest religious education instructors teach it to their students.

For me unearthing gender and sexual minorities in the Bible is essential work. These overlooked characters remind me of the many people marginalized in the world today.

Of course some people chose to fly under the radar for good reason. In some places it is perilous to be open about being LGBTQ. Just last month police raided the Queer Kampala Film Festival where my Transfigurations movie along with many others was supposed to screen. I heard reports that no one was injured or arrested. They got out just in time, but this is not the first time LGBTQ people in Uganda have been targeted by authorities.

I am still editing my piece on Joseph and why I think it is important to bring out of the shadows gender outlaws in the bible. I have been mulling over one line I wrote:

We live with mysteries inside of us we come to understand over time, and if we are willing, we sometimes share these with others.

My top nine photos of 2017 on Instagram. Follow me petersontoscano

As I reflect over 2017, I have been sitting with some of the mysteries inside of me. I wrote a memoir that sits in my documents; I am not sure if I am ready or willing to release it into the wild. Perhaps I am waiting to better understand myself. It is also true that some things are too precious to share publicly.

One goal for 2018 is to screen the performance version of the Transfigurations movie at festivals in North America and beyond. This is different from the version that most people have seen. I will release this version under the title, Transfigurations–Gender Outlaws in the Bible. Description:

A disciple on a pilgrimage spends the night with strangers and tells stories of gender and sexual minorities in the Bibles. As the narrator reveals the many gender non-conforming Bible characters, this one has to decide if a more personal disclosure brings death or life?

In the performance I never appear as myself. I don’t explain my interpretations. Instead it is the story of an unnamed disciple. Woven into the narrative are quotes from the Gospel of Thomas.

It is an interesting Gospel for what is familiar to many of us–sayings that appear in Mark and Matthew–and what is so different. Many of these sayings have to do with identity. Like this one:

Jesus said to them, “When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the kingdom].”

The main character quotes from Thomas’ gospel and these sayings serve a thread to the performance version of the film.

Most people will see the lecture version, which makes no reference to Thomas’ gospel. I imagine this is the version that will be most helpful to Christians trying better understand gender and sexual minorities in the Bible. The performance version though is more artistic with a dramatic ending.

As I write this, I am also considering a theme for the year. My friend, the writer Shirley McMillan (who has a new book out, The Unknowns, which I highly recommend) tells me that she sets a theme for the year which serves as an affirmation of sorts.

I have been thinking of what that might be for me. One thought I am toying with is: Remember Who You Are.

Yeah, working on that…

Thinking about Boredom

Who likes being bored? I sure don’t. One would think that in this day and age no one could ever possibly feel bored. There are millions and millions of videos we can stream. Countless blogs and twitter posts. There are chores to do and walks to take. Still I get bored.

According to Wikipedia, “boredom is an emotional or psychological state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, is not interested in his or her surroundings, or feels that a day or period is dull or tedious.”

I may have plenty to do, but I am not interested. I like the French word ennui, which takes it to a deeper level, “a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.” It’s like the mind has no traction. It’s a floating sort of feeling.

Foolish as it may seem I have been putting myself in a situation where I am even more bored. On Sundays I try to stay away from screens–mobile phone, iPad, desktop, laptop, everything. This immediately creates a dilemma for me. Without these devices in my life, I suddenly have to make my own magic happen. I don’t have the Looking Glass to fall into. And no doubt this causes stress and distress.

I wish it weren’t so, but the reality is that these devices shape my life and my time. But once I turn them off something extraordinary happens–I get bored. And in that boredom I begin to seek out other pleasures–reading, chatting on the phone, reorganizing the kitchen cupboard, trying a new recipe. As I do, I become more present in those activities and enjoy them on a different level.

Not that it is always pleasant. Sometimes it is dreadfully boring. But out of that boredom I am finding new outlets and creative endeavors.

What about you? How do you face boredom? What is your relationship like with your devices?

Happy 2016! Goals & Guidelines for a New Year

After a cross-country train trip with my man, Glen, I am back in my little study in Sunbury, PA. Shockingly I will be home for two solid months before I head out for a spring tour of New England.

Early morning in Maricopa, AZ after a night on the train, my man Glen keeps warm.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Why disappoint myself? Still there is something about that new year marker that helps me regroup and rethink life and work. On New Years Day I wrote a long letter to myself both reflecting on 2015 and looking ahead to 2016. Wow, so many people have encouraged me in my work as a queer activist and communicator, especially with the new climate change work.

I created some goals and guidelines for myself in the new year.

One huge frustration I have with myself is that I get so little done in the afternoon. I poop out after 1 pm and don’t revive until 5 pm. Then I berate myself for being a lazy slug. After decades of living with myself, I know when I am beat.

A guideline for 2016 is that when I wake up early in the morning to work, I can take the afternoon off to read, watch TV, YouTube, Vine, shop, whatever. Then after dinner I can work for two or three hours (when Glen is usually working prepping for his classes the next day.)

Some goals for 2016 are to blog more regularly, continue my Climate Stew podcast (maybe once a month because of another podcast project I will be part of but cannot announce yet), and eat more of a vegan diet. Oh, and read more for pleasure. Just goals. NOT resolutions.

That’s it. Why disappoint myself? Still I am feeling ambition about 2016. I have projects to complete including a film version of Transfigurations–Transgressing Gender in the Bible. I have the funding in place, the script almost done, and a film crew on order.

I am also ready to finalize The Amazing Adventures of the Afterbirth of Jesus illustrated story I have been working on with Joey Hartman-Dow from Us and We Art. It may sound like a weird story, but it is surprisingly tender and sensitive (and weird too.) If you want a sneak peek, sign-up for my newsletter (see form below.)

It is also time I finish my third draft of a memoir, Waking Up from a Biblically Induced Coma. I feel like I need to tie up these loose ends as I take on more queer climate activism.

And you? What goals, guidelines, and hopes do you have for 2016? And how can I support you? Oh, yeah, that is another important goal I have for 2016. So many people have been encouraging to me and supporting me in my work, and I choose to get more involved and be more encouraging of other people in theirs.

Happy New Years!

Featured image from the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix, AR

I snapped when yet another climate denier story circulated

As many of you know, I write a lot about climate change. As a result, lots of my supportive friends send me articles about climate change. Many of these are about climate deniers. In fact, I get swamped with these stories. Then I see the same climate denier stories go round and round on social media. Some environmental organizations even use these stories to raise more money and enlarge their email list

I have had enough. One problem with these climate denier stories is that they take up so much energy and space at the expense of far more important stories. Maybe it is my peace loving Quaker sensibilities that recoils at how climate deniers get dehumanized and further conflict grows. Today Huffington Post Green published a piece I wrote calling for an end to the spread of these types of stories on social media. Here is an excerpt:

Sure we recycle, change a bunch of lightbulbs, eat less meat and post stories about yet another Conservative who refuses to read the handwriting that is clearly visible on the wall. But for many of us, those acts absolve us from any further responsibility. By calling out and mocking the extreme climate denier, we shield ourselves from the ways that we are not fully embracing the enormity of global warming.

The article you posted is not a climate story. This is a partisan story that actually distracts people from looking at real climate stories. It is also one that ignores liberal lawmakers, who say they are concerned about climate change but do not seriously address it. Our promoting this denier story over many other much more vital stories undermines progress.

As we share it over and over, we also widen the gap between “us and them” as we dehumanize those people who have not yet acknowledged the reality and severity of climate change. We reduce them to simply “deniers” — ignorant hacks devoid of emotional complexity, values and reasoning. These attitudes extend beyond our opinion of denying lawmakers, but also to our family, friends and co-workers.

Read the entire story at Huffington Post: Enough With the Stories About Climate Deniers!
Featured images: Old Enemy, New Victim by Tony Matelli at the Montreal Museum of Fine Art

Unplugged. The joys of a screen-free day

I have a friend, Karla Kelsey, who is an excellent poet and an even more excellent human being (which almost makes her super human.) Her latest publication, A Conjoined Book, serves as a mediation on a river, relating to another, and a deep connection with self and the earth.

At the beginning of the fall semester she and I agreed to maintain internet-free Sundays, in essence living with most of the technologies available to us in 1991. We did agree to allow cell phones and texting (not a feature of 1991), but with data off. While I was home before my tour, I faithfully kept my Sundays free of the Internet, but on tour it was not so easy (and I was lonely.) Now I am home again and have resumed the practice.

In fact, yesterday I spent the whole day with the smart-ass phone turned off and hidden in the top drawer of my desk. I also hid the iPad. I moved to the side the wireless keyboard for my desk computer and its place stood my mom’s old 1940’s Royal manual typewriter. I produced two letters and a long journey entry that I click clacked away at without auto-correct, spell-check, or even white-out (anyone remember that gunk?)

I admit it; I am addicted to the Internet and to screens. Even when I have no reason to log on, I find myself returning to it over and over. And I love it. It is a fun, distracting, stimulating, engrossing, mindless, mindful source of information and mirth. But it is a tyrant always pulling, tugging, demanding, “Look at me! Look at what I can do.”

That damn smart-ass phone is like Frodo’s one ring that rules them all, always calling to me, emitting a signal, luring me to take it out and slip into another world, one that both connects me and disconnects me.

But yesterday was pure bliss. I cooked. I cleaned. I read. I listened to music, like really listened, not just as background music. I browsed an old cocktail book and sampled a few. Shoot I even worked in the garden cleaning the brown, dry remains of my summer bounty. It was so delightful and freeing, that I believe I will extend Internet-free Sunday to include Saturday this week. I know!

So who wants to join Karla and me this week for Internet-Free Sunday?

Queer Synchroblog: Coming out for Climate in weird religious ways

Every four years I take part in Fr. Shay Kearns’s Queer Theology Synchroblog. Today is the day again and there are some amazing blog posts out there (scrool to the bottom.) This year’s theme is Coming/Going, which opens up many blogging opportunities. Those of you who follow me know that my head and heart have been gripped by the reality of climate change, and I have been seeking for creative ways to convey a message that is serious, hopeful and even humorous.

Stripping the climate talk of fear and guilt is an act of queerness. Tying that queer climate talk with old time religious, well, that may be just the ticket for a queer quirky Quaker like me. For this year’s Queer Theology Synchroblog the transcript and the audio of episode four of the Climate Stew show staring church lady Elizabeth Jeremiah. I reached back to my repressive gay reparative therapy days and use some of the very same oppressive Pentecostal Holiness teachings that kept me bound to deliverance ministries and other extreme religious sports. I then apply these to greenhouse gas pollution.

The entire transcript is below and you can also Listen here or on iTunes, and Stitcher.

Links

Scientists trace extreme heat in Australia to Climate Change.
How Coal is Formed
Generational Curses and Naughty Gay DNA?

Music Credits

Over and Over from Five Song Demo by Mark Chadwick
The Association News Theme by Jake Hallman
Muhammad Ali from Curses from Past Times by ProleteR
Dream On on Lush Life by Poldoore

Episode Four Transcript

Intro

Welcome to Episode Four of the Climate Stew Podcast. Last time we brought you sounds and voices from the Peoples Climate March, and I adopted some sort of chill Roman Mars 99% Invisible podcast speaking voice. But I’m back with my normal voice and we are ready to serve you a delicious melange in three segments. Special guest Elizabeth Jeremiah, who has an offbeat view of the natural and the supernatural worlds, is our main feature today followed by Timothy Meadows with an update from the future looking at the past to help us see how we might address global warming in the present.

But first the news

News

In our one climate change news story today we learn that scientists have at last connected an extreme weather event directly to global warming. Our correspondent, Tony Buffusio in the Bronx reads directly from the New York Times:

“Thank you Peterson, I have the article right here, and I quote: ’The savage heat waves that struck Australia last year were almost certainly a direct consequence of greenhouse gases released by human activity, researchers said Monday. It is perhaps the most definitive statement climate scientists have made tying a specific weather event to global warming.

Five groups of researchers, (ok, not just five researchers but five groups from all over the world) using distinct methods, analyzed the heat that baked Australia for much of 2013 and continued into 2014, briefly shutting down the Australian Open tennis tournament in January when the temperature climbed to 111 degrees Fahrenheit. (And that’s in January our coldest month of the year which of course is backwards for those people over there)

A tennis fan tried to cool off at the Australian Open in January. Temperatures reaching 111 paused the tournament. Narendra Shrestha/European Pressphoto Agency

All five research groups came to the conclusion that last year’s heat waves could not have been as severe without the long-term climatic warming caused by human emissions.’ Which sounds like they’re saying farts, but I know it’s bigger than that. Yeah, so there you have it. Back to you Peterson in the studio.”

Uh, Thank you Tony.

Climate scientists up to now have been unable to prove that recent severe weather incidents were caused by climate change, but in this case no climate model that looks at only natural factors could possibly account for the extreme heat in Australia; carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases are the most likely factors. Further proof that things are heating up and we need to act up for climate and maybe reschedule the Australian Open.

Main Section: Elizabeth Jeremiah And Generational Curses

This is Elizabeth Jeremiah from the Elizabeth Jeremiah Global Worldwide Ministries in Jesus. I requested to appear on this radio podcast internet transmission to share a concern I have for you—one that potentially affects generations to come. What I’m talking about of course are generational curses. In my church we warn people that their actions today have consequences for our children and our children’s children’s children. (can we please turn off that music?)

Oh I hear you saying, “But Elizabeth Jeremiah, I don’t have any children.” To which I reply, “Well, then, I will pray for you.”

No, our actions for good or bad have repercussions like ripples on the ocean that reach far beyond us. Exodus chapter 36 verse 7 states that the iniquity of the fathers will fall upon the sons, and upon the son’s son, unto the third and to the fourth generations. Oh, and this applies to mothers and daughters too; God is not a respecter of persons.

Now normally the generational curse example I like to give is homosexuality. And before you jump down my throat, let me just say I am the most tolerant person I know when it comes to the homosexual. In fact, my best friend’s cousin gets her hair done by a homosexual and we are faithful to pray for that man and his partner, Pablo, who isn’t even American, but apparently has all his papers in order.

No I discern that many of you in the listening audience are secular humanists, so I will give you an example of a generational curse that makes sense for you: Carbon Dioxide. Thank the Lord that he created this wonderful chemical compound that is filled with energy and with the wonder working power of the sun, no not the Son of God but the sun in the sky that God created.

Carbon Dioxide, which we breath out by the way, is held high up in the heavenly firmament, which you call the atmosphere, and moves about and warms the planet, otherwise our earthly home would just be a dead frozen rock, like the hearts of some people I have known.

150 years ago our ancestors, bless their hearts, hoping to better themselves began to burn coal in factories. Now a one foot pile of coal condenses the energy of 10 feet of decomposed trees and plants—so a lot of bang for the buck. Our people burnt the coal and then the petroleum which is even more energized.

God had created the perfect system that recycles, mmmm, I know y’all like that word, a system that recycles carbon dioxide through trees and the oceans giving us clean air. But the system got overburdened and just couldn’t keep up. And this is NOT God’s fault!

I hate it when people asked, “If God is so good, why is there still evil in the world?” Well it is because people are evil, selfish, wasteful, vengeful creatures. We’ve behaved like those awful tenants in the vineyard Jesus preached about, who were given land to care for but instead squandered God’s riches like a whore-hungry, drug-addled prodigal son or husband.

Our ancestors, Father forgive them for they knew not what they did, did not know that a single molecule of carbon dioxide which is smaller than an angel on a pinhead, remains in the heavenly firmament stockpiling one on top of each other for a hundred years ultimately disrupting the seasons and bringing disasters and woe upon all our heads, especially for those poor people in Africa.

But here is the Good News—we have the power to break a generational curse and turn it into a blessing. How? Repentance, just repent of your evil polluting ways. Oh, and I am NOT talking about sitting around self-indulgently calculating your personal carbon footprint and feeling all good about yourselves. No we need national repentance, we need to turn from our sinful fossil fuel lifestyles and go in whole a new direction. Instead of a curse, we shall give unto our offspring a blessing of clean air and a stable planet.

The Lord God Almighty gives his firm promise to us in 2 Chronicles chapter 7: “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” Hmmm, that’s God’s good stuff, now.

Oh, and on a side note, if you want to know how I talk about generational curses in the churches where I teach, just substitute carbon dioxide with homosexuality.

This has been Elizabeth Jeremiah from the Elizabeth Jeremiah Global Worldwide Ministries in Jesus. May God richly bless you and keep you and your whole household too.

That Day in Climate History

I am Timothy Meadows, It is Saturday October 6, 2164 and time for “That Day in Climate History.” The massive heat waves of 2017 and 2018 caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people—mostly elderly, infants, and those with respiratory ailments, in Southern Europe, Northern Africa, North America, and Australia. While governments struggled to keep up with disaster relief, in the spring of 2019 a group of clergy met to develop strategies to protect the most vulnerable in their communities.

First conceived in Albuquerque, New Mexico by a Muslim Imam, a Jewish Rabbi, a Christian minister, and a Pagan High Priestess, the Summer Sanctuary Project opened the doors to places of worship and provided places of refuge when people could not afford to run expensive air conditioning units. In retrofitted mosques, synagogues, churches, and temples, community members stayed cool and safe for up to two weeks at a time during the extremely hot summer of 2019. The pilot project proved so successful that it was quickly adopted by other places of worships along with gender queer community centers, local schools, and town halls.

By 2020 the Climate Sanctuary Movement expanded to create safe spaces during times of all types of extreme weather with the unexpected positive outcome of deepening community ties leading to greater cooperation and peace. It is estimated that by 2022 the Climate Sanctuary Movement saved over 2 million lives. On this day in 2164 we remember that day in Climate History.

Advert:

Climate History is brought to you by Ikea offering stylish and affordable carbon capture artificial house plants.

Closing:

You have made it to the end of episode four of Climate Stew Podcast. Thank you for listening. Please feel very free to share this podcast with your friends through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Email—you get the point. As a new podcast we need your help to let people know that there are fun ways of talking about the serious issue of global warming. Soon I will tour the North America with stops in Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Portland, Vancouver, BC and more. Check out www.petersontoscano.com for more information. You can see a complete transcript of today’s program, along with show notes and music credits over at www.climatestew.com Special thanks to Jane Brazell, Glen Retief, oh, and Joe G who with just a tank top and super short cutoff jeans completely altered the climate at the Iowa State Fair.

2014 Queer Synchroblog Contributors

* Fr. Shay Kearns Coming Into My Own

* Schrodinger’s Triceratops Coming/Going

* Mackenzian Coming Back To Prayer

* Wally Coming Out

* Andrew/Amanda A Journey of Coming and Going

* Rev. Liz Edman Coming and Going in the Wilderness

* The Fugitive Minister You’re Right

* A Queer Calling In Which We Decide To Go To Church

* Wall Of Illusion Coming, Going, Staying

* Holy Ghost Heretic Coming/Going

* Jonas Weaver Listening to the Old Bray of My Heart

* Mark Dixon Welcome Home

* Peterson Toscano Coming Out for Climate in Weird Religious Ways

* P Synchroblog Entry

* Jamie S Hill Dancing With My Shadow

* Seamus D Coming and Going

* Maggie Starr Synchroblog Entry

* Crumbs at the Feast Good To Come, Better to Go

* Sarah Moon And Though I Find Here No Permanent Dwelling…

* Delfin Bautista The Struggle of Rebirth: A Catholic Coming Out

* Brian Gerald Murphy Be Gentle

Silent Sundays–My Personal Digital Detox

I recently read two different articles about people turning of the internet for themselves or their children. Turns out Steve Jobs limited his children’s screen-time; apparently his kids hadn’t even used iPads. This sounds almost like an urban legend, but according to an Epoch Times article other heads of tech companies also limit their children’s access to devices in hopes that they too won’t get addicted. Addicted?!? Seriously?

The average American adult spends about 7.4 hours per day looking at screens. Photo: Grant Cornett

In One Man’s Year of Digital Detox David Roberts, writing for Outside Magazine (no it is not specifically designed for gay hikers, but the husband and I do like it and subscribe) talked about his radical step of staying off-line for a year. For most of us that would be drastic; for Roberts the move would have seemed like career suicide since he did virtually all of his work as a writer and political social media maven attached to a screen. Of course now he is getting loads of us to read about his experience, so I guess it is paying off. He writes about the tyranny of the net and how it grew out of control for him.

There was a time—it seems prehistoric now—when I started the workday by “getting caught up.” I’d go through my e-mail, check a few websites, and start on the day’s new tasks. By mid-2013, there was no such thing as caught up; there was, at best, keeping up. To step away from e-mail, news feeds, texts, chats, and social media for even a moment was to allow their deposited information to accumulate like snow in the driveway, a burden that grew every second it was neglected.

I spent most of my daytime hours shoveling digital snow. The core of my job—researching, thinking, writing at greater-than-140-character length—I could accomplish only in the middle of the night, when things calmed down. I spent more and more hours working, or at least work adjacent, but got less and less done.

David Roberts says he was missing out on life by being constantly connected online. (Photo: David Roberts)

Some folks are not old enough to remember simpler times. But there was even a world once where we had no smart phones, immediate streaming of movies, and no social networks except the ones that met up for real coffee in real coffee shops. Now I do not believe the world was a better place before all this technology. I personally love the access I have to information and audiences as I sit in my pjs and blog, podcast, and connect with people all over the world.

But I also recognize the tyranny of the technology. I feel the smart phone always tugging, tugging at me urging me to reach into my pocket to use it like Bilbo and Frodo carrying that One Ring that oppressed them all. I also experience the digital yawn all the time. You know when someone takes out their smart phone and immediately you reach for yours. Technology as a tool can quickly spin out into a mad, mindless and fruitless obsessive for me. And it changes the way I think and process information. When I am on-line a lot, I struggle to focus deeply when looking at issues. I flit about from one thing to another and skim, skim, skim.

On Friday as I left the house to do chores, I realized I left my iPhone on my desk. I thought, what the heck, let’s get a little risky here and leave it at home. It felt risky and radical, which also seems pathetic. I immediately wanted to tweet about it. But it also felt relaxing not having it on me calling out to me for attention. Waiting on line at the store and then getting the oil changed in the car, I felt relieved of the burden of needing to see if someone retweeted the latest silly/profound/ridiculous/scandalous thing I put up on Twitter or to check the email for the 300th time that morning. Phoneless I felt more present.

A few years ago I decided to avoid the Internet on Sundays, and this week I have decided to go back to that for at least month, just to give myself a retreat from all the tweets, a day to read books, chat on the phone, write letters, listen to music. In other words a retreat back to 1987. Therefore, I reinstitute Silent Sundays. I can’t wait to tweet about it!

For Heaven’s sake, why on earth would you “de-gay” yourself?

I had the privilege to write a post for Ex-Gay Watch, which has presented news and analysis of ex-gay politics and culture since 2003. They were the first to review my play, Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House, which ultimately led me to some important friends in my life today.

After surveying others like me who tried to go ex-gay or to alter their gender differences, I shared some analysis about the many reasons why someone might choose that route for themselves.

I recently began a discussion with other ex-gay survivors about the reasons they tried to alter their sexuality, gender presentation, or gender identity. To help dig into the question, I prompted them:

Think about the point in time when you began to seek out ex-gay treatment. Then ask: “During that time, if I suddenly woke up the next day 100% heterosexual/gender normative, how would my life be different? How would my relationships be different? How would my future be different? How would my career be different?”

Here is a sampling of what folks had to say to the question, Why did you try to change?

Juli–Guilt. Never cared about god (or believed), but knew my parents would be ashamed and feel responsible (and ashamed for being responsible). Forty years and three marriages, and I still have to remind myself at least once a day they were wrong.

Derek–I was always the “good kid” so the thought of being gay didn’t mesh well with who I felt I was or more what others thought I should be. Faith, family, a desire for what was modeled as normalcy were blanket reasons.

Gail Dickert–I was highly motivated by the fear of hell and the idealism of hetero-supremacy that was proclaimed in my churches and especially in Bible College (Bridal College, as it was referred to by the women in search of their perfect husbands). [Gail is the author of Coming Out of the Closet without Coming Apart at the Seams]

You can read my entire Ex-Gay Watch post here. Others are weighing and sharing their own reasons in the comments section.

Anthony Venn-Brown

Anthony Venn-Brown, an ex-gay survivor from Australia, reminded me through his own comment of a potent incentive that propelled me to seek “change.” The criminality of homosexuality:

simply put…when I was growing up and realised I was gay it meant society viewed me as a pervert, the law said I was a criminal if I acted on it and would be imprisoned, the church said I was an abomination. I didn’t want to be any of these things so this launched me on a 22 year journey to do all I could to change which included a six month live in program, exorcisms, 2 x 40 day fasts and marriage.

Of course nothing actually worked in the end. it was like getting of a stationary bike you’ve been peddling. You are still in the same place.

Had I been growing up today with the new understanding of sexual orientation, change in laws and new understanding of the bible verses……how different my life would be.

Perhaps with informed consent, people today will not make the same mistakes that Anthony, I, and so many others made.

Hitting the Beach, but Lo I will not leave you as Orphans…

I will be off-line for about three weeks as I soak in the sun in Southern Mexico (Oaxaca) and visit my dear old friend Frida Kahlo. I have a stack of yummy books to read as Glen and I unwind on the beach. We each are bringing six books (we needed to limit ourselves). After much deliberation I offer my selections:

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (I read it awhile ago and want to revisit the stunning imagery.)
2666 by Roberto Bolaño (Volume One of Three)
Sophie’s Choice by William Styron (poet Karla Kelsey, a friend from Susquehanna University, suggested I read it)
Martha Quest by Doris Lessing (I have been on a Lessing kick for the past 18 months)
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You short stories by Amy Bloom (one of Glen’s favorites)

Any comments on these books? I am sure you each have suggestions, but they will have to wait for Spring Break. The great thing about having a professor of Creative Writing as a partner is access to so many tasty books and an instant commentary by the professor himself. I doubt I will get to them all (it’s not a contest) but it’s nice to have options for whatever mood strikes me. I typically can read up to five books at a time so I jump back and forth from book to book–Poly-literate?

Fear not, I will not leave you bereft (ah, the depths of my self-importance.) In my absence from blogging and tweeting and farting on US soil, I have scheduled Jesus Loves You tweets through a site called Twaitter. They will appear on this blog on the right, on Facebook (where you can comment if you are one of my 1750 closest friends) and of course on Twitter which you can follow here. What first started as text messages to a handful of friends has grown into a daily ritual for several hundred folks around the world. Adam, a friend in VA, wrote, I’m addicted to your “Jesus Loves You” comments. Adam, and be sure to know they are addicted to you too.

I also want to lead you to some wonderful resources to fill in the void I leave you.

Gwendolyn Glover blogs over at Open Salon. Here is a sample from her piece Thank God for Gay Boys and Girls.

I began wondering if God had something against girls. There were so many differences that seemed inherently unfair. Girls had this embarrassing and painful thing called menstruation. Girls were doomed to go through agonizing childbirth. I felt like it was nothing beautiful or magical because Mom never talked about it. She seemed utterly humiliated by the experience. Dad would only tell us birthing stories that had morals about how doctors were evil and women should have their babies at home..

Also at Open Salon check out Charles Bivona’s modest proposal: The Homo No Mo House: a Business Plan

Always entertaining and informative (with little Moments with Marvin Bloom and Elizabeth Jeremiah, two of the identies I carry with me) the Trans-Ponder Podcast with Jayna & Mila deserves your attention. Also check out their artwork: Jayna’s and Mila’s.

I’ve just starting reading Zack Ford Blogs and appreciate Zack’s insight, humor and abilities as a writer taking on issues of faith, atheism and queer stuff. In his post Why Is It “Disrespectful” and “Offensive” to Challenge Religious Beliefs? Zach writes:

So let’s consider a hypothetical example. One I face often is, “I believe homosexuality is wrong/immoral/whatever.” This belief still wields quite a bit of power and popularity in our society. I would argue this belief is totally invalid, because homosexuality cannot be immoral. Sexual orientations are innate dimensions of identity and a same-sex orientation is no more a choice than an opposite-sex one. Calling homosexuality “immoral” sounds as absurd as calling brown eyes “wrong” or calling the sun “immoral” just for existing. I work really hard to debunk this belief, because it has absolutely no intellectual merit and it is incredibly hurtful to many people.

Although Ze is taking a little break from blogging too, check out the short blog entries on gender and more that nome posts over at That’s What Ze Says.

Cracker Lilo’s Front Porch In addition to serving up personal reflections about faith, sexuality and family, this NYC-based blogger provides posts jammed with yummy links (and gorgeous vegan recipes, oh and PANDAS!)

Need a Quaker fix? Check out Quaker Quaker which offers links to scores of Quaker blogs and resources. If you want to sample the Quakers further, why not visit a Quaker meeting house? Discover the closest meetings to you over at Quaker Finder.

What are some of your favorite blogs, podcasts and cyber-distractions. Feel free to share in the comments section.

Bueno, me voy pronto. Felicidades.

Tag: blogging