Category: South Africa

Greetings from South Africa

Zooming in the Time of Covid in our new backyard

You may have noticed just how quiet I have been here on my website. Other than posting upcoming events, I have made few contributions to the site. I have been extra busy since September 202o after one big event set in motion a bunch of other events. And it is all good stuff (which is nice to hear no doubt in a year of many difficult times for most of us.)

The short version: My husband, Glen, received a Fulbright Fellowship to help develop a special creative writing program for high school students in a township outside of Pretoria, South Africa. Because of Covid this was postponed from June 2020 to the fall to January 2021 and now June 2021.


We began to plan the move, and decided to put our house of 10 years up for sale. We lived in an area where it could take years to sell a house. Well Covid changes everything. It sold within two days. I joke how we accidentally sold our house.

The fall was filled with packing up the place and decision making for our next steps. After the closing, we rented a house across the street from my childhood home in Lake Huntington, NY. We were there all of November and December, close to my sister, cousins, and very good friends. With the help of an outdoor fire pit, we regularly hosted safe social gatherings even in the bitter cold.

Even though the Fulbright was postponed, we figured we could just go to South Africa and wait it out while also getting settled. Glen’s parents live in the Northeast of the country, so Glen found a wonderful long-term AirBnB in Waterval Boven, in the mountains in Mpumalanga Province. The area is known for its hills with spectacular views. Also there are ancient stone circle ruins nearby and many farms with wonderful fresh produce.

After going through many many hoops, we arrived in South Africa on January 9th. Now I maintain my base here as I produce radio programs and podcasts and even present virtual on-line workshops, consultations, and performances.

Now that we are settled in place, I will post more regularly. I am very excited about the recent podcast episodes I have produced with some pretty amazing guests and content.

I have included photos from my new world.

Glen perched on high looking at one of the many waterfalls in the region.

Views of South Africa — All Gorgeous

Safe Landing

I returned yesterday from a month in South Africa. The distance traveled in that time boggles my mind as I wait for my soul to catch up with my body. I spent time in cities: Cape Town, Johannesburg, and Pretoria. I also traveled to remote places, tiny villages where I lived in people’s homes and got to experience a little of village life. I spent time in townships as well and ate more meat in four weeks than I have had for the past two years! I am on a vegetarian diet once again. Phew.

I am sure I will write about the trip in a future post, but I first wanted to give you some of the places that I saw. Of course South Africa is a complicated place with extreme wealth and extreme poverty. I felt like I toggled back and forth between these. The variety of toilets I encountered alone tells the story. For a few days I bonded with an outhouse in Limpopo province as I nursed my traveler’s tummy (something I got while staying in Kruger Park, not in the village itself.)

Nothing Like a Cape Town Audience

One of the highlights of my trip was a stop in Cape Town to visit friends but also to premiere my newest presentations: Taking Matters into our Own Hands–LGBTQ-Friendly bible stories. We had a huge turnout thanks to the efforts of the organizers, Good Hope MCC Church and Gender Dynamix.

The Sunday Times also ran a piece about the presentation which no doubt drew in some other folks. I have to say, there is nothing like a Cape Town audience! So engaged and quick and generous with their laughter and attention. I had a blast that is for sure.


Coloring in the Village

I spent a few days in Mkhonjane village near the Ncome River in Kwazulu-Natal, South Africa. Inspired by my friend Patti in Pretoria, I brought some coloring books along and joined three of the children in the homestead where I stayed for some daily coloring sessions. The village leaders want to encourage more visitors to the village.

You can see from the video how this rural setting can be a wonderful retreat. The community welcomed us now two different times. If you want to find out more about the village, let me know.

Some of the views I saw


A view from Table Mountain in Cape Town


I spent a delightful night in Barrydale with a very queer art collective: Magpie Art Collective


A gorgeous view of Table Mountain from the deck of my friend, the artist, James Stroud


A colorful view of Cape Town on a quiet Sunday afternoon


An early morning dash into the water at St. Lucia, Kwazulu-Natal


When they just won’t let you stop dancing! Report from South Africa

When I first met Glen Retief, the man who would become my husband, he informed me he was a writer. Inwardly I scoffed, “Yeah, right, everyone is a writer.” But a few weeks after our relationship started heating up, he sent me a draft chapter from a memoir he was writing. I read one paragraph and my eyes popped, “Whoa, he really is a writer!” In fact, he is a fine ass writer. Glen ended up winning the 2012 Lambda Literary Prize in the Gay Memoir category for his book, The Jack Bank–A Memoir of a South African Childhood.41OVpekRNyL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

Not only is the writing good, his book is fast-paced, it is action packed with a brush with lions in Kruger Park, queer activism during Apartheid in Cape Town, and an Inkatha attack in SOWETO. The book has it all: Wild life, gay sex, violence, and liberation. Recently Glen was feted at the Cape Town Book Fair and honored for his work as a queer activist during the transition to a new South Africa.

In May Glen and I travelled with 15 Susquehanna University students for the Travel Writing in South Africa two week course. This was not your typical tourist trip to South Africa. We mostly stayed in private homes in rural Zulu, Tsonga, and Venda villages. Sleeping on the floor, doing my business in the fields, and having to negotiate ox head soup for lunch became a part of my daily life. It was wonderful, but any true cultural immersion has its tensions.

Writing for Inside Higher Ed, Glen relates an unsettling experience in one of the villages with lots of misunderstanding all around.

You wouldn’t believe what just happened!” says Jade, a light-skinned Dominican student from Long Island.

“What a workout,” pants Steph, a short, vivacious brunette from rural Pennsylvania.

Their story tumbles out, even as the outside racket builds and two, four, then seven or so kids poke their heads against the entrance grate, some of them thrusting forward open palms for money—annoyed, I shake my head and shout Voertsek, scram!

What I learn from our students is that around noon, at the homestead where Jenna, Liz, Sarah, and Abby are staying, an impromptu party began. A phone connected to battery-powered speakers; neighbors dropping by. Our students swung around the young children; played hide and seek with them. Then, as the crowd grew, local kids demanded to show the four Americans some Tsonga dance moves. To be good sports, they played along, generating, of course, much laughter and merriment. Then the Tsonga kids began to imitate US vocal pitches and accents by pinching their noses, a game that had already been getting on the Americans’ nerves from the previous day.

“At first it all just seemed in good fun,” says Liz, sitting in the living-room. “We understand—we’re exotic. But the joke went on too long, and then at some point it wasn’t good-natured anymore. It began to seem aggressive.”

Glen admits in the piece that at this point he judges his students and me harshly. He looked disdainfully down on us as uninformed and misguided Americans who completely misunderstood South African rural culture.

Yet now, in the face of this evidently sincere anguish, I’m surprised at how irritable and unsympathetic I’m feeling towards these students, towards Peterson for identifying with their distress, and towards Americans in general—my adopted compatriots. Within a US cultural framework, this situation seems to evoke scenarios from emotional safety presentations. For me as a South African, though, my current associations are different.

Right now, for example, I’m thinking of the old colonial comic books I read as a child. Tintin in the jungle, doing who-knows-what to upset hundreds of natives, and then shrugging in passive helplessness at their unintelligible reaction: a shrug repeated hundreds of times in my early years, as my white friends and family shook their heads in bewilderment at the peculiar ways of “the blacks.” Or the “inscrutable intentions” in Heart of Darkness, a literary mystery that infuriated Chinua Achebe so much, he penned that classic portrait of coherent African reasoning and motivation, Things Fall Apart.

Or, to be perfectly honest—this isn’t a thought that shapes itself into words, in the moment, but later I will recognize its unconscious power—the vast crime of apartheid itself, perpetrated by white South Africans when we allowed themselves, specifically, to get spooked by the vision of black people, in large numbers, bullying us. I may not completely realize it yet, but this is the button my students’ fears are pushing—the story of my home country’s near-destruction—massacres, murders, brutality—by white terror.

Even weeks after the encounter, my conversations with Glen were tense over what happened and how we both interpreted it. But as a skilled writer, Glen eventually sat down and explored the encounter, his own feelings, and his own history. He ultimately created a thoughtful and meaningful personal essay that brings clarity and light.

Find out how things turn out: On Study Abroad, Conscripted Dances, and Mysterious Natives