Phallic Fruit Fetish Anyone?

From Urban Dictionary
Phallic Fruit Fetish

A “disorder” popularized by gay Quaker performing artist Peterson Toscano in his play “Doin’ Time the Homonomo Halfway House” about his time spent as a patient in a Christian residential program to “cure” gay people. Another resident in the program suffered from Phallic Fruit Fetish (or PFF) and had a persistent desire to commit sexual acts with phallically shaped fruits. The problem was alleviated when all phallic shaped fruits were removed from the facility.
Rev. Smid ordered all bananas removed from the house upon learning of a patient’s phallic fruit fetish.

And as I have Chad explain in the play,

He had a PFF, a Phallic Fruit Fetish, but he had a really serious case of it that actually extended into the vegetable word. As a result, no cucumbers, no zucchini, no carrots–oh, except for the little mini carrots; they don’t bother him so much.

Urban Dictionary submission by Daniel Gonzales
Artwork by Christine Bakke
Crazy Character Chad by me.

This post has 6 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Auntie Doris on March 26, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    *giggle* This made me laugh even more as I was just eating a banana. Delicious it was too 🙂

  2. Avatar
    Peterson Toscano on March 26, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    auntie darling, just brilliant!

    btw, I avoid bananas to this day, but for completely different reasons. It is part of my dietary environmental statement.

    But as Chad says, “There is nothing like a nice big banana first thing in the morning on top of my Nut ‘n Honey cereal!”

  3. Avatar
    Lewis on March 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    Oh my, and what about the Star Fruit. Or the Coconut? Yikes!

  4. Avatar
    Auntie Doris on March 26, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    Oh obviously it was a fiar trade banana 🙂

  5. Avatar
    Auntie Doris on March 26, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    Or even a fair trade banana.

  6. Avatar
    nonsequitur on March 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    This is both disturbing and hilarious… my favorite mix in comedic themes. Fascist nutrition!