Firstly if you have not done it yet, go down and listen to Marvin’s Aunt Sylvia in the previous post where she gives an update on “Marvy”.
Okay gang I head off for a very quick trip to England, via Amsterdam, (with an even quicker side trip to Scotland) so that I can present at Greenbelt. For those who don’t already know about it, Greenbelt is a HUGE Christian arts festival (about 17,000 people) with lots of bands, “Christian acts”, worship, drama and Christian comedians (shudder).
They placed me in the comic/light entertainment category because they were not sure what else to do with me. It will be entertaining no doubt, but light? Maybe they mean Light entertainment because they know I am a Quaker 😉
I go on at 10:00 in the evening for the Saturday cabaret. I feel I must purchase a little black skirt or something. Hang on! I already have one… I mean if I am going to be progressive and shocking…
I will meet up with folks from Gay Christian Network (Thank you Jimbo!!), some Quaker friends (um CA, no raw fish and chips thank you very much) and a gentleman I recently met at 7th Day Adventist Kinship (their LGBT group). At Greenbelt I will present Talkin’ Trash in the Homo No Mo Halfway House which is a talk with performance from my play. I get to be more personal in this presentation and reveal the motivations that led me to seek change from being gay.
I see now that many factors influenced my drive to rid myself of my same-sex attractions, but often at the very center was my desire to be close to God. As part of my intro at Greenbelt, I’ve been toying with sharing a little song that I created during one of my times of worship when I first became a Christian.
Of course it feels so intimate and revealing. It would be easier to talk about my mastabatory practices than about what happens in my private prayers. But in singing it perhaps it will help the group hear my heart’s cry during those years (and today). I sing it and it never fails to still me.
Oh my God I long to know you
To sit and listen
To watch and worship
Seek your face
Behold your beauty
Your joy-filled presence