My Mom

Some of you know my mom from my posts and some have experienced her in my play and some know her in person (or through her food 🙂 When after 17 years of ex-gay strugglings and I came out to her, she responded, “It’s about time.”

Earlier today with her children around her and her husband of 50 years, my mom left us after two years of battling cancer. She died at home without any life support, just family support.

I appreciate all the kind words and thoughts and well wishes. It was an incredibly peaceful passing, and I am so proud of us as a family how we cheered her on and supported her to the end.

We thought she had left us at 3 AM when she stopped breathing, but she fooled us and hung out for another 9 hours. In the words of my dad, “She is a tough bird”. Yes, that and so much more.

This post has 46 Comments

  1. E on September 5, 2006 at 5:55 pm

    Sorry to hear about her passing; I can only imagine how hard it must be even knowing that it was coming. Consider this a virtual hug since I can’t offer one in person.

  2. Michael Ditto on September 5, 2006 at 7:33 pm

    Peterson, my deepest sympathies. I know it has been a tough and stressful battle.

    I’m sending all my love to you and your family today.

  3. Contemplative Activist on September 5, 2006 at 7:41 pm

    Just wanted to send mine and Ken’s sympathies Peterson.

    Thinking of you and your family, especially your dad.


  4. Scott on September 5, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    I wish you peace through this difficult time. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

  5. Fighting Homophobia on September 5, 2006 at 7:58 pm


    I would like you to know the love and support you have from Memphis…from our hearts..form the bottom of my heart…You are an incredible person who has given so much to so many people, and anything you need during this time period, just let us know and we are there for you. It is amazing what we all experience and go through in this life time, and what we leave one another throughout the years…stay strong and be as you are, as everyone that knows you, knows well that your strength can uplift the world around you…but also that you are allowd your grief, and your tears…as those around you will offer their own…because we love you, and we are greatful that we have come to know you…thanks for always sharing…for always being a great example, and for neing you…your mother, no doubt, was able to rest, knowing that her son is an incredible person….something any parent could rest peacfully with the knowledge of…

    I love you…and please let me know if there’s anything you need…

    Morgan, and the Memphis gang…

  6. Joe Brummer on September 5, 2006 at 8:23 pm

    Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Elliot on September 5, 2006 at 8:29 pm

    As they have throughout this whole time I’ve known you and known that your mother was sick, I extend my best wishes for your family and extra hugs for you. My mother wanted to send her wishes to you.

    Peace and Support,


  8. abbyladybug on September 5, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    So much love to you, Peterson. I know you made your mother proud. You clearly were raised by very loving parents. I’m so sorry you lost her, but sounds like you will always have her with you.

  9. KJ on September 5, 2006 at 9:20 pm

    Virtual hug and real peace of Christ.

  10. kurt_t on September 5, 2006 at 9:33 pm

    Big Internet hug comin’ atcha from Berkeley, Peterson.

  11. Trevor on September 5, 2006 at 9:38 pm

    We seem to give them back to You O God ,Who once gave them to us-
    Yet, as You did not lose them in giving, so we do not lose them in their return,
    For what is Yours is ours also if we abide in Your Love,
    Death is but an horizon
    And an horizon is nothing more than the limit of our sight –
    Lift us up Strong Son of God
    As a child upon your shoulders
    That we may see further,
    Draw us closer to You and thus to our loved ones who abide in You forever

    love and prayers for you and your family


  12. Melanie on September 5, 2006 at 9:53 pm

    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  13. Scott H. on September 5, 2006 at 9:56 pm

    Love you Peterson, you and your family are in my thoughts. If there is anything you need, I am only a phone call away even at 3 am.

  14. Jimbo on September 5, 2006 at 11:23 pm

    I’m thankful that you and so many of your family could be at home for your mother, who obviously meant so much to you.

    Thoughts and sympathy with you all at this difficult time.

  15. Clint on September 5, 2006 at 11:31 pm


    I’m here for you.

  16. Brian on September 6, 2006 at 12:33 am


    I want you to know of my thoughts and prayers for you and your family at this time of loss. But to God be th glory for her life and for all the good that came to this world through her.

    Blessings and peace,

    Brian Eckstein
    GCN Radio

  17. Tonya on September 6, 2006 at 12:52 am

    Love to you!

  18. Whitney on September 6, 2006 at 1:16 am

    She sounds like she was a blessing to your life. Love and good prayers to your family, and for the life of a ‘tough old bird’ — I’ve known too few of those in my time, and the world is always a little sadder for their passing.

    Shantih shantih shantih.

  19. jerryt on September 6, 2006 at 4:31 am

    Dear Peter, you have my sympathy and prayers. Having lost my father after a lenghty illness just a few weeks ago, I know what you are experiencing at this time. God bless you and your family.


  20. Changeling on September 6, 2006 at 4:53 am

    I’m thinking of you and sending you my own heartfelt (albeit atheistic) prayers. I am learning a lot from you about how to live this loss. We’re here and ready to do what we can for you. Just let us know. Love Joslyn

  21. encarna on September 6, 2006 at 5:08 am

    Peterson, as J said, we’re here for you. I know this has been a hard journey for you and your family; I’m glad to know that she passed so peacefully with you all around her. Please know that we’re holding you in our hearts. Love to you from all of us,


  22. Jennifer on September 6, 2006 at 5:56 am

    So sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. She’s free of pain now though, which is a good thing.
    Here’s a great big hug from me to you!

  23. Willie Hewes on September 6, 2006 at 6:57 am

    Thinking of you.

  24. Dave Rattigan on September 6, 2006 at 9:42 am

    Hugs, thoughts, prayers, Peterson.

  25. David Roberts on September 6, 2006 at 10:20 am

    You and your family have my love and prayers Peterson. My mom passed a couple of years ago in much the same way and words can’t describe the love and comfort God gave us all during that time. I pray the same and more for you and yours.

    The prayer Tevor quoted is beautiful – I couldn’t offer more.

    with much love,


  26. tea on September 6, 2006 at 11:32 am


  27. Srina on September 6, 2006 at 11:42 am

    you know i am with you, as are jp and shakira. and i am here, or will be here, whenever. just say the word.

    talk soon. love.

  28. Bruce Garrett on September 6, 2006 at 12:19 pm

    You and your family are in my thoughts Peterson. I never had a chance to meet your mom, but her warmth came through whenever you wrote about her, as did how much you loved her, and were loved. All my love to you guy, and peace to you and yours. If I can do anything for you or your folks let me know.

  29. Jim Burroway on September 6, 2006 at 1:32 pm


    Chris and I send our prayers and sympathy to you and your family during your time of loss.

    Your brave mother raised a very brave son. Her legacy lives on in you.


  30. Brady on September 6, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Peterson- You and your family are in my prayers.

    If she had such a big hand in the person you are today, she is someone all of you can certainly be proud of.

  31. Jonathan on September 6, 2006 at 4:08 pm

    I cried as I read your thoughts Peterson! I don’t think there are any words I can say that will stop the pain. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and if I were there, I would love to wrap my arms around you. You are loved!

    My mother sends her love and prayers for you and your entire family during this time!


  32. Journeyman on September 6, 2006 at 4:57 pm

    We love ya, Pederson.

    What an amazing woman!

  33. Diana_CT on September 6, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    I was looking for words to express my sorrow over hearing that your mother passed away, but there are no words that can reach to the depths of my sorrow.
    The lost of one’s parents is hard; they were always there for us when we banged our knee or when we needed someone to talk to or when we needed a hug.
    Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  34. Norm! on September 6, 2006 at 10:36 pm

    I’m sorry to hear about you and your family’s loss. You are in my thoughts.

  35. Michael Bussee on September 6, 2006 at 10:49 pm


    I lost my own Mom recently after a long struggle. Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. My prayers are with you.

    Another “Ex-gay” survivor,
    Michael Bussee, MFT
    One of the co-founders of EXODUS

  36. Anonymous on September 7, 2006 at 1:12 am

    I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your mom. My mom passed 5 years ago, and once that happens, you always grieve more for others who experience that loss. She sounds like a wonderful mother, and I know you loved her. Heartfelt sympathies. Carol

  37. nonsequitur on September 7, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    My condolences to you and your entire family. As a former worker in the nursing community, I can honestly say that it sounds like you folks did everything the best possible way that it could have been done… being there for your mother while she went through this, offering whatever comfort you could. It is good that she was able to pass on at home, on her own terms. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  38. Christine on September 7, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    Thinking of you today as you perform and speak…

  39. brittanicals on September 7, 2006 at 9:40 pm

    As the mother of sons, I can only tell you that you’ll never really grasp how much she loves you, to the very depth of her soul. Even now she loves you, and knowing that she brought you to this world is what gives her soul peace on this journey.

    We lost my beloved father in law in much the same manner, nearly eight years ago. It hurt so much then, it still hurts some now, but it does get better. Every day seems like he is more and more with us, just in another manner than he was in this life. We have found some peace, may you and your family as well.

    much love,


  40. David W. Shelton on September 8, 2006 at 2:04 am


    My deepest sympathies for your loss. I pray that our God will give you the peace and rest you need during this very difficult time.

    In Christ,

    David W. Shelton

  41. Jenness on September 8, 2006 at 5:07 pm

    I am thinking of you.

  42. Anonymous on September 9, 2006 at 2:26 am

    I don’t know where your heart is right now so I won’t pretend to know how you feel but I do know that I love you. I met you at FGC last year when you performed. It was magical and it was beautiful. You brought me so much laughter, joy and tears of understanding – to say nothing of feelings of peace. I can only try to fathom the peace you must have brought to your mother over your life with her. You are a good person, a good son, and I am very proud to have met you. God be with you in this time. My prayers are with you and your family.

  43. grace on September 10, 2006 at 8:04 am

    Much love to you…i’ll call soon..

  44. Hailey on September 10, 2006 at 4:50 pm

    Bless you. I am just so sorry.

  45. Anonymous on September 11, 2006 at 12:06 am

    This is the first time I have read your blog before. I am very sorry about your mother.

    God bless

  46. Anonymous on September 11, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    I’m sorry to learn that your Mum pass away. May God be your strength and pillar at this difficult time. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
    Mercy Mungah

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