Match.com Madness

After friends heard my constant moans about being single, they suggested I try to find love through Match.com. Initially I created a convential profile, but within a week, after reading so many profiles where men demanded that their potential partners be gay versions of Vin Diesel (who may be a straight version of his gay self for all I know), I started playing with my profile and turned it into art and activism. Don’t know if it has aided me in my personal quest, but it sure is a lot more fun.

Here is my latest intro:

I am a straight-acting, incredibly masculine professional gay man who is exclusivley into guy stuff–tough manly activities. I’m not your typical gay guy–I like football and high fat foods and hate faggy things like musicals and sappy movies.

I’m looking for an overweight unemployed fem gay who does drugs and is riddled with diseases. They say opposites attract.

Visit Match.com to see my complete profile.

This post has 8 Comments

  1. Joe G. on January 13, 2006 at 5:46 am Reply

    I love the description. When I was using Planet Out.com a few years back I was tempted to place an ad with something similar. It included things such as “not straight acting, femmie, out-of-shape, too old for most of you who are seeking LTRs that are not superficial.” I didn’t place it because one of my friends thought it read too bitter. It was, but it was also fun to contemplate placing it to “make a statement”. Good luck on your search!

  2. Willie Hewes on January 13, 2006 at 8:53 am Reply

    Hee hee hee! Yes, good luck. Silly stuff…

  3. Contemplative Activist on January 13, 2006 at 10:53 am Reply

    Ooooooh dear….;)

  4. Christine on January 13, 2006 at 5:32 pm Reply

    I think I still like your previous one the best! 🙂 But I like what you are doing…

  5. Tom D. on January 13, 2006 at 6:38 pm Reply

    I don’t think that profile will get you many dates.

    Oh the other hand, if some guy actually contacts you and appears serious, be very afraid. 🙂

    Tom
    (who is hoping that he, too — someday — might actually have a date)

  6. sur*facing on January 13, 2006 at 11:39 pm Reply

    you crack me up. i’m not sure sbm would approve–you know, that messing with people thing–but i think it’s genius. YOU are a genius . . . but you already knew that, maybe you should come over and watch the playoffs with m this weekend.

  7. Jennifer on January 16, 2006 at 5:25 am Reply

    Interesting profile! Someone who does drugs and is riddled with diseases, eh?!?

  8. Anonymous on January 30, 2006 at 12:51 pm Reply

    Honestly, match.com is like THE HATED SPYWARE/ADWARE.

    Conventional Anti-Spyware/Adware programs don’t work. And they harass me with popups every few minutes.

    One day, was so furious, I googled, “sue match.com”.
    I’m glad people did that before I did. They’re getting sued. Why? Cuz they’re employing people to act as potential dates for their customers.

    Someone has to make them pay for their intrusive, obstrusive and unlawful advertising as well.

    So yeah, stay away and put your money elsewhere 🙁

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