Marvin & Gay Pride

Ah, Marvin. Some of you may remember, Marvin Bloom, our favorite Jew-for-Jesus from Long Island, NY, is no longer ex-gay. See this post of his video announcement. Apparently Marvin has taken to the gay lifestyle with evangelistic zeal (gay lifestyle as in wearing tacky rainbow clothing and attending Pride Parades and bashing straights).

In this video he gives us an update and his very own pride message.

Of course this over the top embrace of all things gay commonly happens to those of us who crammed ourselves into closet, cupboards and wardrobes all those years. We burst out of those confined places, and suddenly we see the world through rainbow lenses.

It is not unlike the born-again experience, especially if one converts as a young adult. I remember dashing to the Salt Shaker, the local Christian bookstore, where I bought all manner of Jesus products. Not just books and music, I purchased Jesus pencils, Jesus t-shirts, Jesus glue sticks, etc. We see this same expression of new identity pride with impulse purchases during Pride events with those stalls that sell all that rainbow schlock. “No, thank you, I do not need a rainbow dream catcher with the rainbow candle holder attachment.”

In the Stages of Coming Out, in Stage V we may exhibit lots of pride in our new-found identity. Marvin seems very much in Stage V Identity Pride,

Feel arrogance/pride in new identity and deep rage toward majority culture. May adopt/heighten stereotypical behaviors or characteristics (i.e. “I’m different and proud of it!”. May isolate self from mainstream values and activities.

Question: Do Straight Allies goes through these same stages?

This post has 8 Comments

  1. Auntie Doris on June 24, 2008 at 9:57 pm Reply

    Ooo that’s a really interesting question and one the I suppose I have started to look at in a roundabout sort of way. As straight ally there seems to me to be as much ‘a coming out’ in some ways; especially as I am also a Christian. I feel that the same stigma that is given to GLBT folk is also applied to those people who stand alongside them. In the past I have regularly got flak from Christians who think they have a right to judge my values, opinions and friendships and to question my motivations. Admittedly I have also felt this with some of my gay friends who question my faith because their understanding of sexuality means I cannot be both a Christian and a straight ally.

    The other downside is that often I don’t really feel like I fit into any community. The Christian community think I am a heretic and the gay community see me as being something ‘other’. However, I feel that over recent years the latter community has been the one that has more accepted me on face value and given me the opportunity to be the real me. The ongoing work in progress is for me to integrate my faith, beliefs, sexuality, and to embrace my ‘otherness’. For me the ‘coming out’ process meant that the real me reared its head and I truly desired to let people see who I really am; to be integrated, genuine and most importantly, authentic πŸ™‚

    So, the short answer (after a very long answer) to your question is yes, I think straight allies go through similar stages.

  2. Peterson Toscano on June 25, 2008 at 3:02 am Reply

    auntie, and I thought of you when I asked that question. I appreciate your openness as you have discussed this topic with me. A woman with out a community? With two communities? A little of both but not always enough? It creates a dilemma, a painful one at times.

  3. Auntie Doris on June 25, 2008 at 6:14 am Reply

    “A little of both but not always enough?”

    I think this sums up my dilemma perfectly.

    There have certainly been times when I have envied my gay and lesbian friends. After going through the pain and difficulty of coming out, at least they have somewhere to belong. I feel like I am constantly going through the process without ever reaching that feeling of belonging!!

  4. paul on June 25, 2008 at 12:23 pm Reply

    There’s a book called “The Stages of Coming Out?” I think I am past the stage where I read such things.

    Auntie,

    FIrst of all, thank you for being an “ally.” I have been wondering about who you are, how you identify, just picking up bits and pieces of you from Peterson’s blogs. Now I ‘know’ you are a “straight, Christian GLBT ally” (so there’s a start).

    Doris, I think what you experience is the price of authenticity. It is the cost of being a leader, an innovator, vs. a follower, a rubber stamp… a sheep. I think you will find your “community” with other people like yourself (GLBT and straight) who refuse to be identified by a static label because they are dynamic people, and understand that people are always more than the sum of any definition.

  5. mister tumnus on June 26, 2008 at 1:49 pm Reply

    peterson, great question. my first thought was, am i a straight ally? i get a TITLE? how cool! so i guess the answer is… yes! πŸ˜‰

    over the last 3 years or so i felt myself go through a period of ‘coming out’ of my own. it’s complex but i am slowly beginning to feel free-er to exist as myself in this vicious world. some things that would not have been problematic to others have been hugely so for me due to one thing or another. my journey to straight-allyhood would be as a direct result of the overriding feeling of astonishment that, in a world that throws seemingly random difficulties at us, people can’t just let people BE and be free to live and love the best they are able.

    auntie doris, you can be in my community if you like πŸ™‚ xx

  6. Auntie Doris on June 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm Reply

    I love the idea of creating a community of straight allies. It will have the best of both worlds I suspect!!

    Paul, thank you for your kind words. They made great sense to me and I totally agree with you about being community with those people who are not static. That feels both terrifying and thrilling at the same time!

  7. KJ on June 26, 2008 at 10:53 pm Reply

    Happy Pride, Marvin! I’m a good gay too!

  8. Ms Itch on July 4, 2008 at 12:21 pm Reply

    Wow, I’ve not been keeping up with Marvin, I’m so sorry!

    Seems like a lot is happening in your life, Marv, take it easy, and I hope you’ll find a good place to be in the end.

    Peterson, just catching up with your blog now, good to read about how you’re doing. πŸ™‚

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