Marvin Calls it Quits

In which Marvin reflects on the day’s bitter news and decides on a new direction for his life. He says he will take some time off from blogging for awhile. (but I think he will still look at your comments)

this is an audio post - click to play

This post has 8 Comments

  1. Anonymous on November 1, 2006 at 7:47 am

    Marvin, we will keep everyone there in our prayers.

    Including YOU!

  2. alex resare on November 1, 2006 at 11:45 am

    Do not fear Marvin! God is with you even in the valley of the shadow of death. I hope you can feel some comfort in that.

    Take your time with your loved ones.
    I will miss you!

  3. Anonymous on November 1, 2006 at 1:11 pm

    I’m sorry for your loss, Marvin. You are all in my prayers and in the prayer circle of a group of fellow Christians who I belong to. Your previous post broke my heart.

    Take care of yourself. šŸ™

    -Jon in Iowa City

  4. KJ on November 1, 2006 at 4:02 pm

    Marvin, I don’t think that you think it’s wrong to be gay. I think that you think that it’s wrong to act on the same-gendered sexual attraction. It would seem that that is a distinction your church was unable to make, and at some point, they would have figured out the difference between your and their beliefs on the matter.

    Sword of Truth Ministries would seem to be a ministry that would be very confused and frightened of the idea of “let go and let God.” This is evidenced by the need to put a “mask” on regarding circumstances related to the suicide. A house of faith should not be a house of fears.

  5. jerryt on November 2, 2006 at 1:33 am

    Marvin, I will pray for God to help you find the peace you are looking for.


  6. Willie Hewes on November 2, 2006 at 9:31 am

    Marvin, I feel so bad for you. This is a tragic thing for everyone, but it makes me even sadder that the parents and the church don’t seem to want to look at the reasons that Kevin felt so desperate.

    I think you’ve made the right decision to come home and take a break. I wish you well.

  7. Steve Boese on November 2, 2006 at 10:05 pm

    Oh Marvin… I’m so sorry.

    I had a clue, but not a very good one, about how complex suicide can be before Dale died. Dealing with it personally was something else altogether.

    I didn’t come out of it with any magic answers. From other folks I’ve talked to, it seems it’s not unusual to end up with many more questions than answers.

    The first lesson I took from my experience was that I needed to be gentle with myself, taking time to work through my grief gradually.

    Another lesson I took from being a survivor of Dale’s suicide, though, was simply that I had to let the experience change me. I couldn’t go back to being exactly the same person I had been before. I couldn’t accept that it had happened for a reason or that some greater good would come of it.

    The common wisdom in caring for survivors of their loved ones’ suicide is assuring them that they are not to blame. As rational and true as that is, though, I have emerged with a sense that I will make different choices if presented with circumstances like those which led up to Dale’s death.

    There are no guarantees… I cannot control the behavior of another… but I can be thoughtful, aware, and present for my loved ones. I can be conscious of their struggles and hurts. I can look for ways to be a gentle and hospitable soul, changing my behavior when it communicates indifference or causes hurt.

    I wish for you, too, that peace might come from letting your experience change you in whatever fashion you find God leading.

    Be well, friend…

  8. Valorie Zimmerman on November 20, 2006 at 3:41 pm

    This is so shocking, and so sad. Poor Kevin is being hushed up even in death. And you are in such pain in this, and it just breaks my heart.

    What the HELL is wrong with the church that it separates gay people from the love of Jesus?

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