In which Marvin recounts the cosmic backlash to his recent post about spiritual warfare–skeletons in the closet, sex demons in his bed and the Memorial Day frontal assault!
Marvin Attacked!!!
In which Marvin recounts the cosmic backlash to his recent post about spiritual warfare–skeletons in the closet, sex demons in his bed and the Memorial Day frontal assault!
Marvin, Marvin, Marvin — Are you trying so hard to be straight because you really believe gay is wrong or because you are afraid of being hurt again like you were with Stuart?
Marvin, darling,
Thanks for your update on the demonic attacks. Frankly, I’m not sure if you rebuked, in the Name of Jesus, the right person. If a former lover of mine came back wearing white tennnis shoes and shorts, and a blue Izod pullover, I’d rebuke him in the Name of Jesus, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I’m right there with you with the prayers. Here’s to your hedge of protection!
Hi Marvin,
I’m sorry you feel that way about your ex. I understand that it’s painful to see him again, but he must have been surprised to get such an angry reaction from you.
Maybe if you hadn’t been looking for demons everywhere, you, him and your mum might have spent a nice afternoon together. Does being a Christian mean you’re not allowed to have a good time with people who you know, and who know you, and who obviously care about you in some way?
Here’s me praying that you will learn to let go of your demons, superstitions and fear, and learn to just live your life as you were meant to.
Love,
Willie
Marvin,
Are you lonely? I mean, do you isolate yourself from “evil” so much that you become your own island of fear?
I’ve done this before. And when I looked around at the friends I kept in this process, they were all such spiritual snobs. I still felt lonely because their standards were even higher than mine!
Through this isolation, I subconsciously yearned for attention and unconditional love. Furthermore, I believe the “manifestations” I had with the Inurpus and the Suckapus were just my inner self longing for acceptance.
I kept asking God to heal me and to give me solid friends to share my life with. When he provided these things (through acceptance of my same-sex attractions as normal and gay friends), I began rebuking God, too! How could such a wonderful God allow me to be smitten with such unavoidable passions if He really cared about me? Well..because he cared about me and wanted me to know that I needed a paradigm shift…not a re-orientation.
Ten years ago I thought my sexual urges would never lessen: today I rarely think about them. I recognize that they are normal and healthy and have fun when I find a friend who wants to explore a depth of love with me to include sex. I am now not overly concerned with others having something I don’t have (a form of envy): I too am loveable.
And the sexual demons are on hiatus…
I know you will say that I succombed to the temptation and the sin of sexual “perversion”: I just know I’m no longer filled with unbridled angst and fear…
Oh, Marvin… I know what it’s like to be easily riled up by contact with my ex, Brian. The relationship had been intense, and so was the friendship (at first) afterward, and not always in good ways.
The friendship bore fruit, though. He was there for me in some very crucial moments, and I was able to minister to him in some of his struggles and remained part of his family.
I was heartbroken when he died (44 is too young). I know it’s not possible or healthy for a lot of folks to be friends after breaking up, but I was richly blessed by working through my anger at Brian, learning to stop de-humanizing him, and being a friend while I had the chance.
Whatever happens, I’m sure you know what’s best for you. I just wish you peace, my friend…
Marvin…
It’s good to catch up with your little war, although I have a bizarre hunch that rebuking your mother may have been taking it a little over the top. I like what nillo said about figuring out why you feel so strongly about your SSA’s. Perhaps it’s time to sit down and take a deep, honest look at the real reason behind your zealousness.
j.