May 23, 2006 / Uncategorized / 3 Comments » In which Marvin says good-bye to friends imaginary and real. That coupled with some of your recent comments has Marvin trusting God for a new season to begin..
Marvin, you are SO gay…
I mean, your behaviors scream your identity louder than your masks silence it.
I’m reminded of the many times I’ve outed myself to people, and their oh so familiar response, “Oh, I’ve known you’re gay for a long time: I just wandered when you’d trust me enough to be honest about it.”
Okay…I know you’re probably angry with the last few paragraphs, but if you’ll give me a moment, I’d like to share a similarity between us: I miss not having a family as well.
What I find in gay-dom are very few monogamous relationships (very much like straight-dom as well–even in the church). Of those stable relationships, very few gay couples want children. Sure…all the gay TV shows and movies throw a cute baby into the mixture, but most guys don’t care about that kind of stuff. It’s very sad. (By the way, Will Truman had his sperm placed into a surrogate mom so he and Vince could have a baby. It was a boy! And he grows and falls in love with Grace’s daughter!!!)
I try to make it sour grapes to help alleviate some of the brokeness I feel about not having a child or children to raise and love: parenthood will take away my freedom; children are so expensive and demanding; etc.
But deep down, I miss not having someone to lead through this life. Maybe someday…
But I certainly don’t want to have a wife to have a kid! Talk about complications!
Sorry you’re missing Soon. It’s good that your love was so pure…
Hey Bob (Marvin, too). This is Jon in Iowa City. This might be simplistic on my part, but if you want to be a parent, be a parent.
There are parenting options out there for you, both as part of a couple or as single dads. Have you considered adopting a child through your state’s foster care program? How about surrogacy? Or co-parenting with a single female friend?
I just don’t want you guys to give up your dreams of being fathers while you’re still young enough to make it work.
Thanks for the pep talk, Jon…I think I’ll look into the options you mentioned…