Hobbit or Italian American?

In this past year having spent loads of time with my Italian-American family in New York, I have come to some conclusions about our similarities to JRR Tolkein’s Hobbits.

You are either a hobbit or an Italian-American if you…

  • Eat more than six meals a day
  • Feel shorter than most people on earth (and Middle Earth)
  • Have a large extended family and everyone practically lives on top of each other
  • Feel obligated to invite your entire extended family to every family gathering (even if most of them drive you batty).
  • Often are mistaken for a dwarf
  • Never are mistaken for an elf
  • Look to men in flowing robes for spiritual advice
  • Have a thing for rings
  • Live long and tell good stories.
  • Have a distinctive name. (My Hobbit name is Hambut Proudfoot)
  • Are into designer clothing (elfin or Zegna will both do)
  • Have an inordinate amount of hair growing on your toes and out your ears

This post has 9 Comments

  1. Joe G. on July 29, 2006 at 6:14 pm

    When I was a kid, my Italian-American (extended) family was definitely very hobbit. Over the years, however, my immediate family became more elfin (“more American” as my dad once complained).

  2. Peterson Toscano on July 29, 2006 at 6:25 pm

    Depleting the pure genes. Yeah, it’s happened to the Toscanos too. In fact, we have a mini UN gathering these days when we all get together.

  3. Contemplative Activist on July 30, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    LOL – yes, you Italians do seem to get around. Even my family from the deepest and most orange recesses of Belfast has some Italian blood in the gene pool!

    Remind me to tell you about our good Belfast-Protestant family scandal involving a Catholic ice-cream maker from Italy 😉


  4. Anonymous on July 30, 2006 at 11:44 pm

    Hambut, I’d much rather have your name than mine: Fosco Maggot


    Tom D.

  5. Bob Painter on July 31, 2006 at 1:26 pm

    Hambut…how appropriate! HA!!!

    Oh, and the hairy part is also very true!

    I love you, Petey!


  6. Bob Painter on July 31, 2006 at 1:28 pm

    Just call me…Sancho Danderfluff!

  7. Bob Painter on July 31, 2006 at 1:32 pm

    Although based on my fair skin (when not sun-bleached to a brown- sugar shade) and cotton blonde hair when I was a toddler, I think my real name is actually Orophin Tinehtele (Elfin)…

  8. Bob Painter on July 31, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    I also think I’m Elfin because I’m tall and look like Orlando Bloom rather than Frodo Baggins…

    Okay, enough of this! HAHAHAHAHA!

  9. jeff harwood on August 1, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    Pimpernel Danderfluff of Willowbottom

    i guess that means we’re related bob (and i won’t even begin to expound/comment/rebut your “Orlando Bloom” statement).

    loves y’all