Heterosexual in Just Three Weeks!

Wow, Ted Haggard apparently was healed of his homosexuality in just three weeks. Focus on the Family outsourced the healing to an undisclosed location outside of Phoenix.

Perhaps like recent improvements to chemotherapy, ex-gay therapy today is stronger, more directed and with less awful side-effects (like say vomiting, hair loss, memory loss, weight loss–although at Love in Action we all experienced weight GAIN, but that other stuff too). Hmmm, I somehow doubt it.

And here I spent 17 years and over $30,000 on three continents trying to straighten myself out and at best I lived as a “healthy celibate ex-gay” for a year or two at a stretch before having a tumble only to get back on that ex-gay pony again. But then Haggard did go to Phoenix for treatment while I ended up in Memphis. Maybe the dry desert air is good for more than just arthritis. I doubt it.

I am not the only one who has doubts about the claims made by Haggard’s handlers.

Alan Chambers of Exodus appeared on CNN’s Cooper Anderson’s program last night where he raised doubts about the sudden transformation and also affirmed the existence of gay Christians. Yes, we too exist. Ex-gay Watch has a transcript of it.

Of course it sounds like Haggard’s handlers may be claiming that he was never gay to begin with, he was just acting out in a homosexual way.

I mention here how Ted Haggard, in his fall in his ministry is my brother in shame, but in his rapid recovery, apparently not so much, well, not yet.

Update: Jim Burroway over at Box Turtle Bulletin provides some more analysis on remarks made on CNN last night. Looking at the NYC papers today, this story gets mentioned EVERY WHERE. Ted Haggard’s spokesman should have consulted the image and PR folks at Exodus before coming out with such ridiculous statements.

This post has 15 Comments

  1. Diana_CT on February 7, 2007 at 1:34 pm Reply

    Our local weatherman made a comment this morning on the news about it.
    It sure is rather amazing! Imagine in only three weeks, I wonder if it will work for transsexuals

  2. Tor Billgren on February 7, 2007 at 2:06 pm Reply

    $30.000??? Did you get the money back? I mean, it obviously didn’t work…

  3. Peterson Toscano on February 7, 2007 at 2:13 pm Reply

    diana, I imagine transsexuals would require at least 4 weeks. There are all the new accessories to sort out.

    tor, no, they offer no money-back guarantees. I know of a university student who enrolled in LIA in the summer of 2005. He had to take out a loan to cover $7000 for the three months.

    After a little more than a month, he realized it was not working. He tells me they let him go but refused to refund him for remaining time. He is now paying off that debt while also trying to finish university. That is Love Inaction.

  4. Tor Billgren on February 7, 2007 at 3:56 pm Reply

    Peterson T
    Um… Huge sums of money involved in this ex-gay-business. Is that, do you think, a reason why it’s such a big movement? Is the main goal MONEY, and not MORAL STANDARDS?

  5. Peterson Toscano on February 7, 2007 at 4:34 pm Reply

    Tor, I think it is more complex than that. Sure, there are plenty of ex-gays for pay who make their living out of providing this sort of treatment, but no one is getting rich.

    They do get some power though in the church and opportunities to be public spokespeople, invitations to the White House and the praise of folks like James Dobson at Focus on the Family.

    Some of the more local ministries really believe they are doing the right thing out of pure motives. And they do come across men and women with severe troubles–depression, addiction issues, post-traumatic stress. I question if they are actually equipped to help with these issues, especially as they hold to the line that the Bible stands opposed to homosexuality. Meaning to do well, these folks often end up doing more harm than good.

  6. Scott on February 7, 2007 at 5:01 pm Reply

    Did you see last night’s Boston Legal?

    Somebody filed a lawsuit against an ex-gay organization on the show.

    Pretty good stuff.

  7. Peter O on February 7, 2007 at 6:04 pm Reply

    It’s a silly claim (3 weeks) and completely misrepresents the ex-gay / post-gay path. Unless of course the quote itself has been misrepresented.

  8. Elliot on February 7, 2007 at 6:35 pm Reply

    I still have to say that I feel bad for Haggard. Why in the world is he putting himself through all this when there are so many people saying that these programs don’t work for anybody?

  9. KJ on February 7, 2007 at 6:48 pm Reply

    Brings fingertips together below chin, bows head:

    “Yes, COMPLETELY heterosexual.”

  10. Anna HP on February 7, 2007 at 7:17 pm Reply

    Well, P, you know .. some people are simply 2QT2BSTR8

  11. Elliot on February 7, 2007 at 8:19 pm Reply

    “2QT2BSTR8”

    Anna, that’s great! I love it! That is officially my new favorite online abbreviation!

  12. Anonymous on February 8, 2007 at 12:06 am Reply

    Maybe I can offer suggestions about the well-meaning people who espouse reparative therapy/ex-gay theory. This is how I see it…

    When my husband told me he was gay, I did not fully (or even a little) understand what this meant. Being a fundamentalist Christian, I only recognized the idea that gay and Christian didn’t belong in the same sentence, much less the same person. I sure did have a lot to learn.
    As I began to read Mel White’s, “Stranger at the Gate,” and search on the internet for help to understand, my whole belief system was being challenged. I’d believed that God brought us together, that He had some purpose in our lives, and that the Bible, as I understood it, was 100% literally true.
    Recently, Peterson, you wrote about a seed of faith, being hardwired for faith in God, and I see myself as one of those. However, it took tremendous change in my mind to have a new look at our lives as they really were, not just how we wanted them to be. Let me write here without causing any barriers, but here I was, 52 years old, basic charismatic Christian, and my husand has just come out as gay! I realized I had to change, and it was a HUGE deal to shift into believing that there could be another interpretation to the Bible than what I’d always been told.
    Long story short, most of my friends still have the old fundamentalist views of homosexuality. I changed – and it will take that same change for people like Ted Haggard and that strain of Christianity to admit that gay people don’t have a choice, that they are created, accepted, loved by God. It will be a major, earth-shifting change, and there there are giant lies that have to be brought to the truth. I pray for that day to come, sooner rather than later.

  13. CrackerLilo on February 8, 2007 at 1:03 am Reply

    How awful for the university student! And for you, too.

    I figured ol’ Ted was bi anyway. I mean, five kids is a lot for someone who only endures intercourse. (Of course, they may not all be Ted’s, but still…)

    These people really have no clue how they’ve made themselves look to non-gay, non-fundamentalist America. Which is still a lot of people.

  14. grace on February 8, 2007 at 1:32 am Reply

    It’s the whole 5 children and a loving wife that makes his claim suspect. Of COURSE it’s easier and certainly less hurtful to all involved to “come out” as straight in three weeks….but….the reality of what’s being dealt with will be recognized eventually. He (ted) knows….he’s just choosing to ice it over for the sake of his family’s feelings at this point….preventing them from begninning their own journey and questioning. He’s OBVIOUSLY been questioning things for a long, long while….and sweeping it under the proverbial rug will not make it go away. We should pray for that family.
    love and grace,
    pam

  15. ben on February 8, 2007 at 11:46 am Reply

    not sure if anyone watched the most recent episode of conan o’brien, but he does a bit on Haggard in the opening monologue.
    it’s seriously hilarious.

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