Good News

The following is intended to be read aloud.

Good News. She didn’t even charge me for desert. Good News. Salim found the goat. Good News. I found it under the backseat, oh, and this too. Good News. I was able to salvage the carburetor. Good News. She fired me. Good News. He’s fine; thank God the police didn’t pull him over this time. Good News. I lost five pounds. Good News. I guess I’m not allergic anymore. Good News. Thanks to your faithful giving two more villages in Luapula province now have adequate water supplies. Good News. At least she didn’t suffer much in the end. Good News. We’re having a baby. Good News. I just saved a bundle on my car insurance. Good News. He said that he will cover my shift on Friday if I work for him on Saturday which is okay because I was going to go in anyway. Good News. We get in for half-price after five. Good News. We’ve just had a cancellation so we can make an appointment for about three o‘clock? Good News. She said yes. Good News. I will never have to talk to him or see him again in my life. Good News. We can pay this month’s rent. Good News. We’re having a HUGE sale on all electronics and appliances. Good News. Investigators say that if the weather cooperates later today they will recover the bodies from Tuesday’s crash. Good News. Looks like we’ll have a decent crop this year after all. Good News. She said no. Good News. I’m finally putting on some weight. Good News. They decided to build it somewhere else. Good News. They had over 50 people show up. Good News.. At least he didn’t spend all his paycheck on drinking. Good News. She will walk with only a slight limp. Good News. The initial reports show that only four people were killed during this year’s election season. Good News. Looking at this x-ray we see the bullet only just missed his lung. Good News. And it’s only 50 calories! Good News. She told me not to worry about it.Good News. No worries, I made sure I backed it up before we started.Good News. Under the circumstances, of course, we will waive the processing fee. Good News. She passed the entrance exams with flying colors.Good News. I happened to be in the next room when it happened. Good News. I am NOT pregnant. Good News. She said maybe. Good News. Analysts predict that over the next six months we should see a steady decline in gas prices. Good News. I have that in black too. Good News. In contrast to what you tell yourself (and what others have to say about it) God is not pissed off at you. Good News. Look, I can get into my jeans again. Good News. We should be able to get the stain out. Good News. The bite is deep but it did not get infected this time. Good News. They opened a new branch next to my work. Good News. They’ve given us a week to find a new place. Good News. He’s never coming back again. Good News. The tests were negative. Good News. The tests were positive.Good News. I’ll be able to stay here with the children for the time being. Good News. They will be hiring again soon. Good News. I’m eligible for a free upgrade. Good News. Chemicals derived from microbial defenses are leading to new antibiotics beginning with one to fight malaria, which causes 500 million annual cases of infection world wide—one million of which end in death.* Good News. She can still eat a little if it’s chopped up in tiny pieces. Good News. You can hardly see the scar. Good News. I should be able to just knock out the dents. Good News. We got to see her on our way back home. Good News. He won’t suffer any more. Good News. The baby survived. Good News. They serve coffee now. Good News. I’m going to try one more time.

*Nature’s Chemical Warfare – Good News for the Worldwide Malaria Epidemic


This post has 14 Comments

  1. Virginia on July 20, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    *cringes* Just what I needed today. The “good news” of fatphobia. Calorie counting. Weight loss. Not exactly “good news” to be reminded how much my culture hates my body and those like it.

  2. Jendi on July 21, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Good poem.

  3. Sheria in SA on July 21, 2009 at 11:23 am

    Your good news segment may just become as popular as your Jesus loves you series. Reading your “good news she fired me” reminds me of when I was relieved of my duties at christian voice radio in Zambia. Little did my bosses realise my POTENTIAL, and little did they know that I was going through emotional stuff that made me make LITTLE mistakes on my shows, twice if my memory serves me well. It was nothing major, people do make mistakes anyway. Young, bitter, angry and confused is how I sum up that brief chapter of my life. I soon forgot the fact that I left a job I so dearly loved…( Please, bear with me, am not taking over peterson’s blog, just making a point). Back then, I was really angry that I had lost my job but looking back now, it’s all water under the bridge, it was a BLESSING IN DISGUISE!! I went on to score a mega job as presenter on national t/v where presidents, diplomats and anyone who watched was impressed with me. I ended up being the most popular television presenter critics could ever remember. Now this is a job I had not applied for, I just happened to go looking for a job and it so hapened that on that same day I was looking, auditions were being carried out. Of all the people that had applied for a job in presenting, I was the only one offered the job without even having applied for it; they were just “blown away by my talent”. So, next time you are fired, it could be a blessing in disguise. Just say GOOD NEWS I HAVE BEEN FIRED!” Good news may very well be wrapped in a package labelled BAD NEWS!!

  4. p2son on July 21, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Virginia, well, that is the problem with “good news.” What person’s good news may well be wrapped up with all kinds of other stuff. I find it amazing that here in the US when I lose weight people say, “Wow, you look good,” but when I lived in Zambia and I gained weight folks said, “Wow, you look good.”

  5. p2son on July 21, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Sheria, THANKS for sharing this story.

  6. e2tc on July 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Peterson, this is great! Would love to hear an audio clip of you performing it, though I can see why you’d rather have people read it out loud themselves. 😉

  7. Sheria in SA on July 21, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Peterson, different strokes for different folks you know. Maybe other people find you “nice” when you are slender, and others when you have gained weight! I tend to agree though, the US puts much emphasis on body image and unfortunately it has rubbed off on africa too!

  8. Mary Ellen on July 21, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    There’s something about this – it’s incantatory – I start feeling the balancing of positive/negative, and how it’s both completely unknowable (positive? negative?) from our limited perspectives, and also how the outcome or experience is in part a matter of how we frame things / set our expectations. And then there’s the banality of so much of it, which exposes our ordinary mind chatter, our too-often mundane and self-serving frames of reference.

  9. reneealtson on July 22, 2009 at 2:32 am

    brilliant! good news

  10. Jox on July 22, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Good news. No, it’s great news but that wouldn’t have the same impact – ha, ha! I especially liked “Good News. In contrast to what you tell yourself (and what others have to say about it) God is not pissed off at you.” I just need to believe it.

  11. Jane on July 23, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    New meaning to “how lovely are the feet of them who bring good news.” Gonna be mulling this one over. Thanks Peterson.

  12. Virginia on July 24, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    It isn’t about looking good. It’s just not. It’s about the fact that people like me can’t adopt children or hold on to their children, immigrate to some countries, get healthcare, get and keep a job, get into some schools and other organizations, eat in some establishments, live in some communities, use some public facilities. It’s about the fact that doctors themselves are killing us because they so dislike our bodies they won’t even read their own medical journals to challenge their own bias. It’s about the fact that a multi-billion dollar industry has set out to ERADICATE people like me. It’s about the fact that the well-lobbied government assists the industry by passing legislation to take away our money, homes, healthcare, jobs, and children. It’s about the fact that the “good news” listed here is precisely what kills us early (most “fat” related diseases actually being caused by stigma and weight-loss attempts, not fat). It is simply NOT good news. Relativism is not acceptable here. The oppression and death I and others like me face is NOT good news, never and in no way, regardless of one’s individual reception of compliments for losing weight, regardless of one person’s momentary good feeling. As a Christian I believe GOOD NEWS is that which is liberatory, lifegiving, not at all related to a warm feeling at receiving a compliment for being male, thin, white, able-bodied, straight, or any other privileged status.

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