Garden Encounter of the Jesus Kind

Don't step on the basil!

Okay, so I come to the garden alone.

It’s early. Dew on the rose bushes and all.

Suddenly Jesus shows up. He like wants to walk with me and talk with me and stuff.

I tell him, “Dude, I have work to do. This lettuce is not going to plant itself.

He then calls me a Big Ole Martha.

So I call him a Mary-loving Zombie has-been.

It was ugly. The neighbors got involved.

In the end I had to have a judge issue me a restraining order against Jesus. I mean he stepped on my radish seedlings.

Now he cannot come closer than 25 meters from me and the garden.

I try to work in the garden alone, in peace, but he is standing there, exactly 25 meters away, with this big sign, God Loves Fags!

He’s not getting any of my tomatoes this year. Just saying.

This post has 7 Comments

  1. Curt Naeve on April 26, 2011 at 3:57 pm Reply

    Who knew that the ‘Hound of Heaven’ had a produce fetish??

    Thanks my friend.

    • p2son on April 26, 2011 at 8:40 pm Reply

      Curt, you are welcome 😛

  2. paul on April 26, 2011 at 4:04 pm Reply

    The Jesus in that pic looks to be about the size of Tinkerbell. BTW, you know you always have extra tomatoes in season, maybe you should part with a few just in case there is a hell…

    • p2son on April 26, 2011 at 8:41 pm Reply

      Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy is all over me. Tinkerbell Jesus. Only believe.

  3. catherine on April 26, 2011 at 9:22 pm Reply

    Jesus appeared to me this weekend on the face of a crushed egg. One minute you’re following the children around with a camera, and the next you’re explaining links between thorns, rabbits, and eggs.

    Awkward!

  4. YESHUA on August 4, 2011 at 10:15 pm Reply

    THE MIGHTY GOD YHWH I AM THAT I AM YESHUA THEY THAT ARE WHOLE NEED NOT A PHYSICIAN BUT THEY THAT ARE SICK MATTHEW 9-12

  5. Vel Meyers on February 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm Reply

    Those who attempt to mock Christ will be left behind in eternal hell..Jesus loves the sinner but hates your sin…Get a clue or get left behind…
    15 Minutes

    You’ve lived a life doing whatever you wanted
    As long as you were happy
    That’s all that mattered
    And
    Friends came and went
    But
    You never remembered to prepare your heart
    For
    God
    Even though you were continually told
    That God sent his son
    To
    Die for the redemption
    Of
    Your sins
    And
    Yet you failed to let him in
    Even time has its limits
    What would you do?
    If
    You only had
    15 minutes

    By: VEL © 2010
    To the lost…The ones without Christ according
    To
    His
    Holy
    Word …the ones who are in cult religions
    Like Muslim
    Mormonism…Jehovah witness…and such
    I pray for you to seek truth and follow Christ
    He’s coming soon…are you
    R ♥ A ♥ P ♥ T ♥ U ♥ R ♥ E.. R ♥ E ♥ A ♥ D ♥ Y
    Because my seat is in the upright position
    And
    I
    Am
    Ready
    To
    Fly ~

    If you have not yet received Christ Jesus
    As your personal Lord and Savior…
    Please don’t put it off any longer simply bow your
    Head and say this prayer with all sincerity…
    Dear Heavenly Father…I know I am a sinner and that
    You died for the redemption of my sins…I ask your forgiveness
    Today and ask that you come into my heart and be my Lord
    And savior. I know that you sacrificed your life on the cross…rose
    On the third day and reign victoriously over all the earth…cleanse
    Me from all unrighteousness and mold and change me that I might
    Be more like you. In Jesus Holy Name…Amen

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