Suffering is a constant companion
Like many people I feel paralyzed this week even as I press through to get work done. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around the future threats we face from climate change when the heart is so filled with anger and grief over the relentless assaults against LGBTQ bodies and lives today, particularly trans people and especially trans people of color who have been living under the threat and reality of extreme chronic violence for years.
The scale of the recent Orlando shooting is staggering; just as the number of names read at Transgender Day of Remembrance and the level of violence they endure are crushingly overwhelming.
Yes we have work to do and all that but the need to mourn and rage cannot be ignored. Grief is work and stirs up so much inner turmoil from the many injustices seen and faced that have been stuffed away daily in order to survive.
And I am someone far removed from the recent violence. I think of Puerto Rico where more than half the victims have family. The LGBTQ community there has been hit hard again. But this violence ripples far touching many people from all backgrounds. It reminds us of our past pains and current fears. It disrupts the narratives that so often comfort us about things getting better, a truth that is often not balanced with the harsh reality of how recent and tentative and selective the advancements are.
I write simply to make sense of my feelings and to acknowledge that this shit is hard. And obviously much harder for those closer to the tragedy.
Like many people I have needed distractions from the collective pain that has paralyzed many of us as we process the devastating tragedies in Orlando, Florida and the massive loss of life with the death and injuries of LGBTQ people, many of whom where Puerto Rican.
Finding comfort and escape through creative work
To comfort myself I have turned to food, obsessive Internet browsing and social media, porn, prayer, and gardening.
Working for myself at home this week has meant I’ve needed to detach from the Internet and plug myself into some creative work. Out of pain comes creativity and even comedy. I do find something comforting about creating art–even short silly videos with serious messages in them.
This week I produced the 50th and final episode of the Climate Stew podcast. I imagine most people who read my blog have not yet heard this show–most people don’t listen to podcasts. How can I describe it? Imagine a show produce in an NPR studio with some queer activists, a climate scientist, and the cast of MadTV (which I hear is coming back!)
The final show is a celebration, but also audio performance art with lots of storytelling and comedy.
Using comedy to explore violence and oppression
I have had a running feud between two of my characters–Marvin Bloom and Elizabeth Jeremiah. He is gay and married to a trans man; she is straight, and out and proud Conservative Evangelical preacher. As you can imagine, they get into lots of tussles. But in a surprising twist, we discover why Elizabeth Jeremiah has been so hard on Marvin. Her backstory is no doubt the first on a climate-themed podcast.
How about you sit back or go for a walk and plug in Ep 50 of Climate Stew!
And see Elizabeth Jeremiah for yourself. She shares a recent revelation she has had about the secret polluting life of Jesus of Nazareth.