Change is Possible!

The claim that gay people can change has become a war cry in the ex-gay movement. As evidence that people with same-sex attractions MUST change, Exodus and anti-gay Christian leaders prop up folks who apparently used to be gay and now are no longer.

Even if people with same-sex attractions can “change” and find that their attractions diminish or go away all together, (which I highly doubt), the question is why? Why do people seek change? Does it come from a healthy sense of self seeking to be whole or is it more a matter of needing to feel okay, normal?

Who says we have to change? Just because someone claims they have changed doesn’t mean it is necessary or right. The evidence of change is no moral mandate that I need to change. Lots of people conform to the norm for all sorts of unhealthy reasons.

Christian folks with same-sex attractions need to seek God for God’s will for our lives. Not man’s will or heterosexual man’s prejudiced view of what is normal.

For Christians we must no longer conform to the patterns of this anti-gay, homophobic world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds, then we can judge rightly what is God’s will for us.

This post has 6 Comments

  1. Pomoprophet on December 2, 2006 at 7:15 am

    good post. “change” is a funny term. It means different things for different people. For many, its a change in behavior. And I think we can all agree that promiscuity isnt good, no matter your sexual preference.

    I’ve spent time with Exodus (though i currently claim no affiliation) and they dont force anyone to change. They certinly think its wrong but when you talk heart to heart with the leadership, they arent out to make anyone change.

    I guess where you and I differ is that I believe the Bible tells us God’s will for our sexuality. And that is not to physically act on my homosexual attractions. Infact the only reason I am not “out” is because I believe God does not want me doing that.

    Its tough. I wrestle and go back and forth. But its also something I have looked into. I wish my heart could rest believing that its ok to embrace my homosexuality. But I cannot.

    Thats my thoughts anyways 🙂

  2. Anna HP on December 2, 2006 at 8:55 am

    Very good post, P. I can only begin to imagine what it would be like to find a side of yourself that acording to your own values is so morally wrong, and I belive that wether you have problems with being gay or not, you need a lot of support from friends and family during your “coming-out-period”. I was so lucky to have my friend there for me, because I belive that you are easily “changed” if you don´t.

    Coming out your whole life changes. I felt I found the big missing piece in the Anna-puzzle. But sure, I felt lost along the way. I cried myself to sleep thinking of how good my life was with my ex-boyfriend and how I missed the comfort. If you feel lost, you seek some kind of comfort. Either you find it in your supporting friends or you find it in a organisation that claims they can make everything to what it used to be, you can be straight as in you´ll get your life back.

    Urgh, I hate those who takes advantedge of other peoples weakness, trouble or fear.

  3. Joe on December 2, 2006 at 2:08 pm

    I’ve met several guys this year who clearly want to “change”. They don’t appear to be brainwashed by anti-gay churches (although they are certainly influenced by their conservative evangelical friends and families). They meet-up regularly with other “conflicted” gay men but they often have non-conflicted gay friends too. The wider general culture they live in is distinctly pro-gay. All of them are young though. I guess if a young gay guy sincerely believes that gay sex is a sin and he cannot imagine remaining celibate, the “change” option seems attractive.

  4. Daniel C on December 2, 2006 at 4:09 pm


  5. Daniel Gonzales on December 2, 2006 at 10:33 pm

    Blame is Possible.
    Discover How.

  6. Elliot on December 3, 2006 at 12:25 am

    Right on, my brother! And besides, why should any of us want to change? ‘Cause in my opinion, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender people of faith rock!

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